• 9 to 5 Dilemma: Ignored & Confused.

• You’ve Been Playing Defense Your Whole Career…

• New Sessions for June: Change is Hard & An AMA With Kelly

• Walk This Way: June Walk & Talk

• Tall Poppies Blowing in the Wind

• Dollyism

You’ve Been Playing Defense Your Entire Career

But good offense wins games.

(These are very the few sports analogies you’ll probably ever hear me use, but they work here, so let’s roll with it…)

I work with a lot of high-performing people who are praised for being dependable, collaborative, proactive. The kind of people others say they can’t live without.

But when we really sit down and look at how they’ve moved through their career, we often find the same pattern:

They’ve been playing defense the whole time.

Not because they’re timid.
Not because they don’t have ambition.
But because they’ve been taught, explicitly or implicitly, that the best way to be successful is to stay reliable, stay agreeable, and stay out of the way until it’s their turn.

Defense doesn’t get you promoted.
Defense doesn’t get you clarity.
And defense definitely doesn’t get you paid.

What Defense Looks Like

Playing defense at work can be subtle. It shows up like:

• Being “easy to work with” at the cost of voicing your ideas

• Picking up extra tasks without asking for recognition or support

• Waiting to be noticed, tapped, or “given permission” to grow

• Putting off your own development to clean up someone else’s mess

• Saying yes because you’re afraid what might happen if you say no

It’s the constant scan of what do they need from me? instead of what do I need to lead this well?

What Offense Sounds Like

Now let’s flip it.

Playing offense doesn’t mean being aggressive.
It means being intentional.

It’s knowing what you want, naming it clearly, and moving toward it, even if it feels uncomfortable.

It sounds like:

• “I’m interested in taking on more strategic work. Can we align on where I might lead next?”

• “I’d like to talk about advancement. What does a promotion timeline look like here?”

• “I’ve noticed our 1:1s have been inconsistent. Could we block 30 minutes biweekly to prioritize alignment?”

It’s not about putting pressure on others.
But it IS about relieving the pressure you’ve been carrying alone by pretending your needs aren’t valid.

If You’re Stuck in Defense Mode…

You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’ve just been taught to work harder instead of working toward what you actually want.

Here’s how you begin the shift:

1. Name what you’ve been tolerating.

Delayed feedback, ignored meetings, stalled growth—it’s easy to normalize things that should be unacceptable.

2. Get specific about what you want next.

Not “something more challenging” or “just to be appreciated.”
We’re talking: a title change, budget ownership, a clear role in decision-making, protected time to lead a new initiative.

3. Start showing up like the version of you who already has it.

Not by faking it. But by owning your space in the room, proposing ideas, and communicating like a peer, not just a doer.

4. Stop trying to out-perform dysfunction.

You will never work your way out of a broken system by being more available, more agreeable, or more “go with the flow.”

One More Thing

If you’ve spent years playing defense, you might feel like you’re just now waking up to how much of your career has been built around other people’s comfort.

Good. That awareness is power.

Now you get to choose:
Do you want to keep reacting?
Or do you want to start designing?

Walk This Way… Introducing Walk & Talks.

Career support, advice, and guidance doesn’t always happen best behind a desk or on a Zoom call. Sometimes, the clearest insights come when you're moving through the world…literally.

Introducing our Walk & Talk Series.

Each month, we host a low-pressure, high-impact audio session designed to give you space to think, reset, and move forward mentally and physically. Whether you’re walking through your neighborhood, strolling on a treadmill, wandering a park, or pacing your kitchen because of rain, you’re invited to reflect, listen, and reconnect with what matters to you.

These sessions are intentionally different:
✔ No cameras
✔ No pressure to talk
✔ Just grounded support you can take with you

And there’s science behind it. Walking boosts creativity, lowers cortisol, and helps regulate your nervous system, making it one of the most accessible ways to process uncertainty and get unstuck. When your body moves, your mind loosens its grip.

June Walk & Talk: Listening Inward (with Chloe Nassau)

This month’s Walk & Talk is a 30-minute audio-only session led by Chloe Nassau, one of my favorite voices in emotional clarity and processing ambiguous loss. This is a guided experience designed for you to walk, listen, and absorb at your own pace.

You’ll explore ambivalence, internal resistance, and what it means to move forward with self-trust, even when the path isn’t clear. Using a 3-2-1 structure inspired by James Clear, Chloe will guide you through grounding prompts that help you shift out of spiraling and into presence.

June 18 at 12 pm EST/9 am PST
Register Here: https://lu.ma/ihl32gph 

Free for gumption. clients! Check your email for your promo code.

What to Expect

• A live, audio-only call (you can dial in anonymously if you'd like)

• 30 minutes of guided support, no interaction required

• Gentle pacing, open reflection, and space to just be

We encourage you to join from outside if possible. Whether you're walking a trail, your block, or the path between your car and a quiet bench, you're welcome here. All bodies, abilities, and paces are respected.

Bring:

• A fully charged phone or device

• Headphones or earbuds

• A space where you can move at a pace that feels right for you

Whether you walk two miles or twenty steps, the goal is the same: to show up, reset, and reconnect.

June Ask Me Anything Session - Free to All!

☕ June AMA: Bring a Beverage & Let’s Chat

It’s time for another Ask Me Anything session—your chance to get real answers to whatever career questions are on your mind.

Thinking about a job change? Struggling with a frustrating boss? Wondering how to position yourself for what's next?

Bring it to the session and let’s unpack it!

Bring a beverage, bring a question, bring yourself.
No slides. No pressure. Just real talk about work, growth, and making bold moves with gumption.

Are You a Tall Poppy?

Maricel Joy Dicion's article, “I Learned to Thrive Silently at My Own Expense”, published by Women of Influence, is a powerful reflection on the personal costs of navigating professional success while minimizing one's visibility to avoid backlash. It came out several years ago and I STILL think about it and cite it in my coaching.

Dicion recounts her experiences of deliberately making herself "small" in her career to protect against being "tall poppied"… a term describing the phenomenon where women are criticized or resented for their achievements. While this approach allowed her to avoid direct confrontation, it led to feelings of self-betrayal and the sense that she wasn't fully realizing her potential or sharing her best work with her.

This narrative resonates deeply with SO MANY women who, despite their accomplishments, remain under the radar to sidestep potential criticism or envy. This is a broader issue in workplace cultures that discourages individuals from fully embracing and showcasing who they are and what they do well.

For those interested in exploring their “tall poppy” identity further, the full article provides a nuanced perspective on the challenges of silent thriving and the importance of creating environments where ambition and success are celebrated rather than suppressed.

The Secret Weapon for HR

The best HR advice comes from those in the trenches. That’s what this is: real-world HR insights delivered in a newsletter from Hebba Youssef, a Chief People Officer who’s been there. Practical, real strategies with a dash of humor. Because HR shouldn’t be thankless—and you shouldn’t be alone in it.

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