In This Edition…
9 to 5 Dilemma: Should You Tell the Truth at Work?
Aretha Franklin on Money & Worth.
Upcoming Events & Releases.
Dollyism.
I beg of you, please be honest.
I’m going to ask you to dig deep into your inner Godfather here.
The “I am not emotional. I’m observant” energy.
And also… I understand why you’re scared.
When you’ve been working under someone who retaliates, triangulates, and blames, your nervous system learns to stay quiet, stay safe. If you stay under the radar you’re less likely to face his wrath.
A few things to think about before your 1:1.
1. Silence doesn’t protect you as much as you think it does.
If this leader has been there for 30 years and things have continued to deteriorate, HR already knows there’s a problem. Your coworker didn’t “create” an investigation, she confirmed an existing concern.
If everyone waters down the truth, the organization can say,
“Seems like isolated feedback” and write it off again.
If multiple people calmly describe similar patterns, it becomes data.
And data is harder to dismiss than emotion.
*There is risk here is if you have “bad HR.” As an HR person, that I believe to be a good HR person, I know bad HR really well because they do everything that I try to do the exact opposite of.
Bad HR is usually described as HR that ignores hard conversations to make life easier on themselves. Regardless, your experiences need to be documented, even if your HR decides they can’t confront your boss because he’s a protected for some bullshit reason…
2. This is about showing repeated patterns.
Remember, Godfather energy.
This is the moment for:
Controlled delivery
Specific examples
Measured tone
Clear impact
HR hates to hear words like “this is a consistent and repeated pattern that has not been addressed” because it stirs up their legal senses. And again, makes it even harder for them to continue to ignore.
Instead of “He’s toxic.”
“There’s often a lack of clarity in expectations, which results in blame when outcomes miss. It's driven morale down and it doesn’t create opportunity for anyone to be successful.”
Instead of “He pits us against each other.”
“Information is shared inconsistently across team members and it has created division and reduced trust.”
See the shift?
3. You get to assess psychological safety in real time.
When you sit down with HR, notice:
Are they asking open questions?
Are they documenting?
Are they probing for examples?
Are they acknowledging impact?
If it feels performative, that tells you something about the organization.
If it feels serious and structured, that tells you something else.
Either way, you’re gathering information about whether this is fixable or whether you need your own exit strategy.
4. You’re right, the real risk is retaliation.
Every company has protection for those that bring a claim forward in good faith, but we all know that toxic managers fight back in the most pervasive and subtle ways sometimes because they know exactly where and how to toe the line.
You can ask HR directly:
“Will this feedback be shared anonymously?”
“How are you protecting employees from retaliation?”
“What is the timeline for follow-up?”
If a single leader can make your department “even worse” because you participated in a formal HR process, the culture problem is not just him.
It’s the system.
And if the system protects toxicity over truth, you may already have your answer about your long-term viability there.
Aretha Franklin on Worth & Value.
Before she sang a single note on anyone’s stage, Aretha Franklin had a rule:
She got paid first.
In cash.
And she kept it in her purse. On the piano or on her person. Within reach.
Aretha had watched what happened to artists who trusted contracts that shifted, promoters who delayed, and systems that undervalued Black women’s labor. She didn’t argue about worth.
No performance without agreement.
No access without compensation.
No ambiguity about value exchanged.
Mic drop 🎤🎤🎤
Ok, so you may not be walking into meetings asking for envelopes of cash. But look at where you’re performing before the agreement is solid.
Where are you:
Doing executive-level work without executive-level title or pay?
Delivering “stretch” contributions that become permanent scope?
Accepting delayed compensation in the name of loyalty?
Assuming someone “knows your value” without you ever naming it?
Most of us are comfortable working hard.
We’re far less comfortable defining the terms under which we work.
Aretha didn’t separate her talent from her terms.
Aretha’s Rules of Worth:
Clear scope before extra effort.
Clear compensation expectations from the beginning.
Clear agreements and boundaries before ongoing access.
When your value has terms, you don’t have to prove it over and over again.
And at the end of the day, sometimes you just gotta say “don’t mess with me or my money.”
Upcoming Events & Releases
Cincinnati moms — you deserve a break!
On May 16, I’ll be speaking at the Moms Matter Too event about returning to work after time spent raising kids.
Those years change you in the best ways.
They also change how you think about work, purpose, and what actually matters.
We’ll talk about how to reconnect with your strengths, translate your experience, and step back into the workforce with confidence and clarity.
If you’re in Cincinnati and thinking about what comes next in your career, I’d love to see you there.
📍 ADC Fine Art Gallery
🗓 Saturday, May 16 | 10:00–2:00
Dollyism.
Don’t Be a Stranger!
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